Read about my journey

My paintings are a visual diary of my spiritual journey to discovering myself. A journey which began with the realisation that I had suppressed an important part of myself due to years of learned behaviours and societal conditioning. For many years I believed that my destiny and vocation was to be a doctor. I dutifully conformed and worked within the institution of the NHS, feeling like a small cog in a large machine. Whilst I was very grateful to have a stable job and enjoyed many aspects of medicine, over the years I realised that the job was no longer fulfilling me. My soul was objecting, I was becoming resentful and there came a moment when I could no longer ignore my inner voice. I decided to take time to pause, reflect and really listen to that voice. It was telling me there was another path for me in this life, I just had to find it.

I realised I needed to look inwards and invest in my personal rather than career development. I started by reading books and listening to podcasts on how to work on my mindset. I learnt that any reality first begins in our mind as thoughts. I learned how to reverse negative thoughts and limiting beliefs. I slowly began to shift my subconscious paradigm, to allow myself to think that I could have an alternative path through life, one that would fulfil my soul’s purpose. Naturally, the next question was ‘what was my purpose?’.

I came across the notion that often what gave us joy as a child would give us a clue as to the answer. For me, it was art. I remembered how, when asked what I wanted to become when I grew up, I would resolutely answer, “An Artist!”. There was no doubt in my young mind. Over the years my inner child’s voice was suppressed as I ‘learned’ that this couldn’t be my career path.

And so, I started painting again as a way of reconnecting with my inner child and true voice. I found abstract painting was therapy for me, allowing me to fulfil my need to express myself in a visual form. I was giving myself the permission to be seen. I was learning truths about myself and navigating blocks in my life which had been suppressing my voice. I started to push myself out of comfort zones and plunged myself into new unfamiliar territory in many aspects of my life, all the while using painting as a medium in which to document this learning.

I believe art can bridge the gap between the seen (outer physical reality) and the unseen (inner spiritual reality). My process involves giving my inner spiritual self an artistic voice by first quietening the mind via practices such as  meditation or breathwork. This helps me to disconnect from the worldly distractions of our outer reality in order to allow for introspection and connection with my inner self. I lay out texture on the canvas and plan initial colours, other than this there is no planned outcome. Paintbrush strokes are guided by intuition and feeling, which I can often experience physically via my gut’s visceral response to what I am creating. I work mainly with acrylic paint.

There is often contrast between smoother blended areas of neutral tones and more energetic and looser brush strokes of vibrant colour.  My colour palette is chosen with the symbolism of colour in mind, for instance I often use shades of violet, a colour which through time has been associated with spiritual growth. I often paint on circular canvas, there is something about having no beginning or end and the notion of oneness which connects on a deep spiritual level.